Tea is a hug in a cup :)

This is seriously going to get personal, you ready? Yep

If you were caught cheating, would you fess up? Yes but I would never cheat

The last time you felt honestly broken? I feel broken every other day

Are you craving something? a hot shower and a hot cup of tea

 

If you could have one thing right now what would it be? Alot of money

 

Would you rather have ten kids, or none? None

What do you hear right now? Traffic

Is your bed against more than one of your walls? Yeah the head is on one wall and the bed is going down another wall

What's on your mind right now? Getting a shower and watching my shows

Are you there for your friends? Always

Last person to see you cry? Mike

 

What do you do when you get nervous? Make tea and lay down

Be honest, do you like people in general? Not really haha I'm not a people person

How old do you think you will be when you finally have kids? I don't want kids

Does anyone completely understand you? No I don't think so

 

Do you have a reason to smile right now? I got new gauges today so yeah

Has anyone told you they don't ever wanna lose you? Yeah

 

Would you be happier if life had a rewind button? Yes and NoI think everything happens for a reason 

Do you tell your mom or dad everything? I tell my Mom alot but not everything.

Does it matter to you if your boyfriend or girlfriend smokes? No because I smoke

Are you going to get hurt anytime soon by someone? I hope not

 

Do you think more about the past, present, or future? All of them I overthink

How many hours of sleep do you get a night? I sleep way to much i could sleep from 12 to 2 the next day

Are you easy to get along with? Yeah

What was the last drink that you put in your mouth? Water

What size bed do you have? Queen

Do you start the water before you get in the shower or when you get in?Before I get in and i take my makeup off while it warming up

Do you like the rain? Nope

Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? Yes

Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn't do? Yep

Would people refer to you as a goodie goodie, bad news, or neither? Neither prob. a bright, goofy, old lady like, crazy cat lady

Who were you last in the car with, besides family? Mike

What's the last movie you saw in theaters and with who? TED and Mike

Have you ever kissed someone who had a boyfriend/ girlfriend? No

Have you ever been hurt by someone you never thought would hurt you? Yes sadly and it killed me

Your parents are out of town. Would you throw a massive party? I'm 25 not 16

Do you regret a past relationship? I have no regrets

Would you rather spend a Friday night at a concert or a crazy party? I'd say neither prob. shopping, on a drive, or relaxing at home in my comfy clothes watchin tv

Do you tend to fall for the same type of person over and over? Not really

Have you made a joke about somebody that made them cry? No and I never would...I hate cruel people or bullies.

Do you care too much about your appearance? Yeah in most ways I'm beauty products obssessed so I love using them

 

Are you a jealous person? At times

Have you bought any clothing items in the last week? Yes

Do you miss anyone? No

Last time you went outside? About 40 mins ago for a smoke

What are you doing tomorrow? I've got a Dr. appointment

Are you the type of person who has a new boyfriend/ girlfriend every week? Nope

Is there anyone you want to come see you? No

Have you ever been cheated on? Yeah

 

Ever given your all to someone who walked away? Yeah

Do you like cotton candy? No

Who was the last person you had a serious conversation with? my Mom

Are you planning to get knocked up or knock someone up by age 17?
Im 25

Do you have siblings? Yep 2 brothers and 2 sisters Damien, Jason, Amy and Kim

Have you ever fallen asleep on someone? Yep

How has the past week been for you? Shitty

Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to? Not anymore

What were you doing at midnight last night? showering

Who was the first person you talked to today? Mike

Will this week be a good one? I hope so

Who were you with last night? My cat Merl

Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? Through texts till I almost fell asleep

Next time you will kiss someone? Idk

Who should start the kiss, the girl or the boy? Whoever

Do you have any plans for the weekend? Not yet

Did you like this survey? Not really haha

Thinking alot about life

I love that Marilyn Monroe quote.  I want that to be my next tattoo.  So I

haven't blogged in awhile. Not that many people actually read my blog anyway haha.  I've been busy with Physical Therapy and Dr. stuff.  I'm also working on my beauty site which seems to be taking forever but I don't care because I want it to be perfect.  Well anyways I've been thinking so much about life lately and the way things were and the way they are now.  I would have never thought that my life would end up the way it did!  I was always a little off and sick with random things.  Now that I know I have Multiple Sclerosis it makes sense.  It's annoying though because no where to lie every other week it is something new with my health.  Most people think I'm crazy or making it up but whatever.  I know how things really are and if you were truly close to me you would know and understand as well.  There is something wrong with my hip it has holes in it, also its 40% off from the other hip.  I've been doing physical therapy for it and it sucks!!! I truly hate it but I don't have much of a choice.  I don't know what will end up happening with it but I'll just have to ride it out and see.  I was thinking about when I was younger and I'd talk to my friends and say "Oh when I'm 25 I'm going to have this and that and this." I don't really have anything.  I did go to school so that's good I do have a degree in Medical billing, coding, and transcription.  I can't work though because of lesions on my spine and I'm sick all the time.  That's another thing that bothers me alot I hate letting people down when I can't hang out.  I feel if they are a true friend they would understand that though and not get mad or judge or think you're lying.  I know that most of my family understands and Mike is starting to understand more and Krista gets it becaue she is also sick. Speaking of Krista I finally met her!!! It was exciting. Me and her could have a conversation that starts at 12AM and goes unitl 12PM. We think alot alike.  I think she knows exactly where I am comming from because she is sick as well.  It's nice to have a friend going through the same thing. Me and her friendship came out of something bad that happened, but I'm happy we ended up being friends. We used to not like each other but that was high school stupidy. Also most of the things we heard about each other were lies.  Everything happens for a reason, I truly believe in that. OK I got off topic haha even friends I rarely talk to anymore like Rachel get it.  She text me recenetly, we haven't talked in months.  I told her what was going on and she was like omg I hope you're ok.  She text me a few days later and asked to hang out, I couldn't becaue of PT and not feeling well she didn't get mad or judge she just said "ok hun I hope you feel better soon." That makes me think of people who are way to quick to judge. I also hate when you tell a friend or a loved one you're really sick and they just say ok or don't answer back.  It makes me personally feel unloved and uncared about. Maybe they don't know what to say but they could make the effort to try to understand and listen.  I am the type of person who doesn't judge and will not get mad if something happens and you have to break plans.  I also always listen and try to help my friends if they're down or going through something.  I feel that in life a true friend is extremely hard to come across. If you truly want a friendship to work, you will make it work.   Most of the time friends stop talking.  It's also prob. because everyone is growing up and making a life for themselves.  I've had issues this year with friends stabbing me in the back and it hurt bad.  Not just one but two.  It hurts when you pour your heart out to someone and later on find out the second you left, they were making fun of you and talking badly.  I think that alot of people who have trust issues are the ones who can't be trusted.  I'm not trying to bash anyone. We've all made mistakes and I'm sure everyone has talked about a friend behind their back.  There is a difference between talking behind a friends back and constantly talking behind their back and then pretending you're best friends with them. Even guys I've trusted with everything have let me down and lied straight to my face.  I don't like liars and I truly mean that. I'm not a liar and wouldn't lie. If you ask Mike he will tell you I am always straight up with him, may it be good or bad. I don't like lying to loved ones because I know how bad it hurts and will break someone down. Not saying I've never lied everyone lies, but I don't lie often and if I do it's a white lie.  I wish life turned out differently then it has. I wish I had a good job and a nice house by now. I don't but I'll eventually get a nice house. I can't work but I will try to figure something out.  I feel like a burden on all my loved ones.  Sometimes I wanna run away just so they don't have to deal with me.  I can take care of myself and if shit happens well then shit happens. I spent so much time worrying about what other people would think and would say.  I was overly nice because I feel bad about myself. That got me nowhere at all besides talked about, hurt. and lied to anyways.  Now I truly do not care.  If you wanna talk about me, think I'm lying, think I'm crazy, be my guest.  I have enough to worry about, I don't need that shit.  I'm done with drama in my life.  I'm to old for that shit.  I'm gonna try my best to be happy and take it day by day.  I'm sure I will hit some bumps in the road but that's life. I hope things get better and I start to regain trust in people I am cloestest to. I know it will take awhile. I hope this wasn't to long and boring haha just getting some thoughts out.  



CandyCane Glitter

I took a bunch of random questions from different surveys and put them all in one big one so here is about me shit.

Name ten random things you love. Coffee, Leopard print, Bats, Beauty products, Tattoos, VS pink, HIM, Horror, Anything Victorian Gothic looking, Cats.

　
Are looks important in a relationship? Not Really

Are relationships ever worth it? Yes if it is true love

Are you a virgin? No

Are you in a relationship? Yes

Are you in love? Yes

Are you single this year? No

Can you commit to one person? Yes

Do you believe in love at first sight? Yes

Do you forgive betrayal? Depending on the situation and how much the person means to you and what they have done

Do you have any piercings? Yes my ears and monroe

Do you have any tattoos? Yes Heartagram on my neck and ring finger, Zombie girl with an axe on my back, Broken heart with spiderwebs and bat wings across my lower back, Purple rose with spiderwebs on right side, Brass knuckles with angel wings and blood left side, Butterfly with sparkles on my right hip, Mom Inside a heart with swirls and lights shinning on my wrist vine of starflowers under my right boob.

Do you like kissing in public? I do It doesn't matter though

Do you shower every day? Yes sometimes twice

Do you think someone has feelings for you? Yes

Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? I'd hope so

Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat? Yes

Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you? Yes

What do you wear on a daily basis? I usually stay home so Yoga pants, a cami and a v-neck or Yoga pants and a hoodie if I'm running somewhere fast i'll throw jeans on, if i'm going out I'll put something nicer on

Do you love sushi? No I hate it, I don't get why everyone loves it so much

Favorite snack food? Chocolate covered pretzels and Poptarts

Do you have an Iphone? Yes

Any pets? Yes Merlin my himalayan cat who means everything to me!

　





Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette? I prob. could but I have no intentions on quiting right now.

What would you name your future daughter? Drucilla Dru for short

Do you wear the hood on your hoodie? Sometimes if im loungin or if im cold

Are you good at hiding your feelings? Great at it

Do you get stressed out easily? Yes I am always stressed out

Where did you get the shirt/sweatshirt you’re wearing? Victoria Secret

Do you have trust issues? Yes Trust NO ONE!

Has someone ever written a song or poem for you? Yes

Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change
about your body? Yes a nose job and a boob job

Have you ever cried over a guy/girl? Yeah

Have you ever had sex with a man? Yes

Have you ever kissed someone older than you? Yes

Have you ever liked one of your best friends? No

Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated? Yes

Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? Yes

Have you had sex so far this year? Yes

How old are you? I'll be 25 this month

If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her? His sense of humor and his sideburns ;)

Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for? Yes

What is the first thing you notice in someone? If they have tattoos, facial hair, and eyes

When was the last time you told someone you loved them? Today

Who is the last person you hugged? My Mom

Are you young at heart, or an old soul? A mix of both

What makes someone a best friend? They are always there for you, They understand and can relate to you, they don't lie to you, and They're always honest even if it isn't what you want to hear

Tell me about a movie/song/tv show/play/book that has changed your life? A book called "Don't sweat the small stuff" changed my life. I was in a deep depression. I laied in bed for almost a year. I was always worried about everything had major aniexty and OCD and it helped me get out of my funk.

Name one physical feature that you like about yourself, and one you dislike. I like my eyes and I hate my nose.

What holiday do you most look forward to? Halloween without a doubt

You’ve got the TV on, but you’re not really watching. What channel is the TV on? MTV

Name a song that never fails to make you happy. Any HIM song

You know at least one person named Michael. Tell me about him. Well my boyfriends name is Michael and he's amazing. He's so sweet and treats me like a queen. He would do anything for me and is one of the most geniue nice people I have ever met. :)

Can money buy happiness? No but it coulf fix a hell of alot

Is there anyone close to you that you know you can’t trust? Yes

Have you ever spent a night in the hospital? Yes many times for my Multiple Sclerosis.

Would you call yourself/your family "middle class?" Yeah

What’s your "quirkiest" habit? I always antibacterialze everything and always antibacterialze my hand after going into a store, wash my hands 100 times a day, won't touch the bottom on my pants, and no jeans allowed on my bed. Haha I'm a weird one.

What is one thing you could never forgive? Cheating

Is it possible for guys and girls to be just friends? Yes

What is the best TV theme song ever? Prob. The Big Bang Theory

When you’re alone in your own home, do you walk around naked? Yeah

What gets you out of bed in the morning? The thought "I need a smoke and a coffee"

Tell me about the last book you read. I read the 50 Shades of Gray books and whoa! They're intense but good.

Do you believe that there is life on other planets? Yes

Where is your favorite place to go out and eat? Red Lobster

What is something you want to change about your current situation? Health and Money

Early bird or night owl? Night owl

Where do you live? Taylor, PA

Describe the last time you were very angry at someone. I was mad because I was lied about and lied to. It was someone I trusted with everything and it hurt really bad.

Have you ever laughed uncontrollably when it was socially inappropriate? Yep
Do you often skip breakfast? Never

How do you know what true love is? You just know

Where is "home" for you? Ashley, PA but I'm getting used to Taylor now

What song best describes your life right now? "Sell you're Soul" by Hollywood Undead or "In the arms of rain" by HIM

Do you want to be perfect? No one is perfect

How do you express your creativity? Makeup, Hair, and Fashion

Do you believe in Karma? Absolutely

What’s your favorite color? Purple, Green, Black

What’s your favorite band/singer? HIM

What is your favorite type of food? Snacks haha idk Mashed Potatos is my fav. food

You favorite ice cream? Soft Twist with Rainbow Sprinkles in a cone

Dogs or cats? Cats!!!

What is your favorite flower? Dahlia

What’s your favourite scent? Fancy Love by Jessica Simpson

What is your favorite season? Fall

What’s your favorite television show? It's always sunny and Pretty little liars

Favorite place to shop at? Sephora, Ulta, Victoria Secret, Target, The list goes on and on and on, I love to shop.
　
What hair products do you use daily? Just for styling I use Rockaholic Dirty Secret Dry shampoo, Nexxus pro-mend heat protection, Taya amazon white clay thicking hair spray, and Pantene Lasting Volume hairspray. If I shower I use L'oreal Evercreme cleansing conditoner (It's like that Wen stuff) I loooove it!, I switch things up alot but I use Garnier fructis fall fight strand saver leave in spray, Pantene triple action volume mousse, and if im not using the cleansing conditoner I use Clear scalp and hair therapy, Neutrogena Triple moisture deep conditoner, or Organix renewing moroccan aragan oil intense moisturizing treatment, then outta the shower either L'oreal everstrong overnight hair repair, nexxus pro-mend split end binder, or Carols Daughter Marguerite's magic restorative cream.
　

What foundation do you use? Currently Revlon Whipped Foundation

How about concealer? Physicans Formula

What do you think of fake eyelashes? Love them!

Did you know that you are supposed to change your mascara every 3 months? Duh!

What brand of mascara do you use?
Currently L'oreal but my fav. is Lancome Doll Lashes
Sephora or MAC? Sephora

Do you have a MAC Pro-card? No

What makeup tools do you use in make up application? Jezze everything a sponge, q-tip, tissue, foundation brush, Kahbuki brush, like 6 different eye brushes sometimes a conture brush.

Do you use make-up base/primer for the eyes? Always

For the face? Yes
What is your favorite eye shadow (color or shade)? Haha That's hard! Purple and Taupe

Do you use pencil or liquid eyeliner? Both

How often do you poke your eyes with an eyeliner pencil? Not often

What do you think of pigment eyeshadows? They're ok

Do you use mineral makeup? I used to but not really anymore

What is your favorite lipstick? That's hard too haha I'm a makeup junkie prob. Kate Moss Rimmel #04

How about lipgloss? Toofaced Glamour Gloss

What is your favorite blush to use? I don't used blush

Do you buy your makeup on ebay? No

Do you like drugstore makeup? Yes

Did you ever consider taking make-up classes? Not really I feel like everything you need to know is on the internet.

Are you clumsy in putting on makeup? Only when my MS is acting up

Name a makeup crime that you hate? To dark of foundation that is NOT blended in.

Do you like colorful shades of makeup (lipstick,eyeshadow) or neutral ones? Colorful and Neutral it depends on my mood.

Which celebrity always has great make up? Lana Del Rey or Kat Von D.

If you could leave the house using just ONE make up item, what would you use? Mascara

Could you ever leave the house without any makeup on? Yes but I'd prefer not to.

Do you think you look good even without any makeup on? Not really

In your opinion, what is the BEST makeup line? Toofaced, Kat Von D, L'oreal, and Revlon.


What do you think of Makeup?? I LOVE it! I have a serious OBSESSION with it!!!

Random about me

Do you usually sleep with your closet door open or closed? Closed I can't sleep if theyre open

Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotels? Nope

Have you ever done it in a hotel room? Yes

Where is your next vacation? I don't know yet

Have you ever stolen a street sign before? No but I have watched someone right across the street from me steal one

Who do you think reads these? I honestly don't know friends

Do you have a calendar in your room? Yes it's a Hello Kitty one

Where are you? The computer room/office

What is your plan for the day? It's 1:31AM so my day is over well I guess it's tomorrow so get up get dressed, wash my bedding, clean, then have family night

Are you reading any books right now? Not currently

Do you ever count your steps when you walk? I have before

Have you ever peed in the woods? Yes

Do you ever dance even if there is no music playing? Yep all the time :)

Do you chew your pens and pencils? I did in high school

What is your favorite song of the week? So Far Away by Avenged Sevenfold

Is it okay for guys to wear pink? I guess I'm not a fan of it but whatever to each their own

Do you still watch cartoons? Sometimes

What do you drink with dinner? Water usually sometimes coffee

What do you dip Chicken Nuggets in? Nothing I hate sauce I dont eat ANY condiments

What is your favorite food/cuisine? Grilled chicken and mashed red potatos or the tilapia at Red Lobster with the chedder bay biscuits of course YUUMMM!

What movies could you watch over and over and still love? Requiem For a Dream, The Crow, Gia,The Devils Rejects, Halloween, Funny Games, TED prob. more thats all I can think of right now

Last person you hugged/kissed? Mike

Were you ever a boy/girl scout? No

Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine? Prob. not

When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper? I don't remember

Can you change the oil on a car? I can I never did it myself though

Run out of gas? Nope

Favorite kind of sandwich? Grilled Chicken I prefer a grilled chicken wrap though

Best thing to eat for breakfast? Pancakes or French toast

What is your usual bedtime? 2 or 3AM

Are you lazy? Kinda but not really

When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween?Yep every year

Do you have any magazine subscriptions? Yep Star, Glamour, Lucky, Cosmo, and there is more but I can't remember which ones come in the mail and which ones I buy

Which are better, legos or lincoln logs? Legos

Are you stubborn? At times

Cried you were so happy? Yes

Ever watch soap operas? When I was a little kid with my Gram

Afraid of heights? Not really

Sing in the car? Yep

Dance in the shower? Sometimes

Dance in the car? Sometimes

Ever used a gun? Yes

Do you think musicals are cheesy? No

Is Christmas stressful? Yeah I don't like Christmas at all

Ever eat a pierogi? Yes

Major annoyance right now? Plenty

Do you believe in ghosts? Yes

Ever have a deja-vu feeling? Yeah all the frigin time lately

Do you take a vitamin daily? Yep along with my other million meds I need to take

Wear slippers? Of course I love slippers

Wear a bath robe? Nope

What do you wear to bed? Jammie pants and a tank top

Wal-Mart, Target or K-Mart? Target

Nike or Adidas? Adidas

Cheetos Or Fritos? Dortios

Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? Almonds

Ever taken karate? Nope

Ever kissed someone of the same sex? Yes

Can you curl your tongue? Yes

Ever won a spelling bee? No

Own any record albums? No my Mom does

Own a record player? No

Regularly burn incense? I used to everyday like 2 or 3 years ago but now I lite candles

Ever been in love? Yep Currently am

Hot tea or cold tea? Def. hot tea

Tea or coffee? I love both but Coffee

Favorite kind of cookie? I love all cookies my Mom calls me the Cookie Monster haha eith Chocolate Chip or Oatmeal Raisin

Can you swim well? Not great but I know how to swim

Can you hold your breath w/o manually holding your nose? Yeah

Are you patient? Not at all

Ever had plastic surgery? No but I'd like a nose job and a boob job

Which are better black or green olives? Neither

Can you knit or crochet? No but I REALLY want to learn how

Wash room or bathroom? Wtf bathroom

Excited for anything? Yeah my two palettes coming in the mail

Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way? When I was younger not anymore

Who do you want to see right now? Mike





Truth





Facial Routine

I just recently started doing a new face routine. I have horrible skin and I'm not sure why.  I do have an autoimmue disease (Multiple Sclerosis) and that could add to it.  Eitherway when I was about 20-24, I had horrible acne and it was cystic acne.  That is the worse it hurts, and it's sooo hard to get rid of.  It was  I am supposed to go get microdermabrasion done next week.  It's so expensive though, I've tried everything there is to try. NO JOKE! Some things help temporarily, as soon as you stop the problems come back.  I used this product from Dr. Dennis Gross skincare.  It is called Alpha Beta Face Peel.  I got the extra strength kind.  It is almost like an at home microdermabrasion.  I got 5 packs for around $20 and it worked awesome but as soon as I stopped using it but acne and acne scars came back and showed up again.  I also still use Kate Somerville's ExfoliKate intense exfoliating treamtmeant.  I only use it once a week and it does work and makes your face smooth and more vibrant looking.  For an inbetween mask I just discovered Formula 10.0.6 Deep Down Detox ultra cleansing mud mask.  This product is also awesome it makes your skin very clean and bright after each use.  I use that once or twice a week.  I just discovered that using a toner really helps as well.  I just started using one and I notice a difference.  Also any Cetaphil product is GREAT!  My Dermatologist reccommend it.  It works great for any skin type or any age.  I just started using that again as well.  Here is my normal nightly rountine. 

Wash my makeup off with any makeup wipe (currently using Olay)

Wash my face with the Cetaphil foaming acne cleanser using my Clarasonic.

Pat face Dry.

Using my Seabreeze Toner put some on my face and allow to dry.

Then get my L'oreal Youth Code Mositurizer and put all over my face. 

Then if needed I put an Acne spot treamtent (I use Clean and Clear Persa-Gel 10) on any pimples. 

In the morning its so simple because all I do is wash my face with the L'oreal Youth Code foaming cleanser. 

Then put the L'oreal Youth Code Mositurizer on. 

Everyone has different skin so you need to play around with products to find whats right for you but i know Cetaphil is great for everyone. 

I also stopped wearing foundation to give my skin a break and my skin has actually improved.  I have only been using a sample I got from Sephora called Miracle Skin Transformer and OMG this stuff is amazing!! I can not rave enough about how glowing and beautiful your skin looks after putting this on.  I actually perfer it over foundation, it has a light tint to it but it isnt heavy at all. 

Women I admire

These are some Women I admire or look up to all for different reasons.

Lana Del Rey

Angelina Jolie

                       

Demi Lovato

Kat Von D

Megan Fox

*The best*

Marilyn Monroe